I found this sermon recently.
seriously, in the midst of a lot of debate about prop 8, and so many conversations about marriage and love, it has been something on my mind and prayers lately. I have to say that Mark Driscoll walking through Song of Solomon is pretty powerful.... and for the most part...i am in agreement with the representation of Christ's love which can be displayed through a relationship as it is presented in Song of Solomon.
http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/the-peasant-princess/do-not-awaken-love
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
bows of myrtle which are growing in me through God
these verses have been redemptive for me these last weeks: as I am reminded of the source of the water that gives true life.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. AS the heavens are higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will NOT return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace, the mountains and the hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine trees, and instead of the briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord's renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed.
Isaiah 55: 8-13
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. AS the heavens are higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will NOT return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace, the mountains and the hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine trees, and instead of the briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord's renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed.
Isaiah 55: 8-13
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
striving
young hopes... dreams instilled
your voice is heard... your dream is real
your light is seen.... your joy is sensed
the day is young.... there is so much to learn
when will it cease... the journey is just begun
humanity sees the negative... YOU see the possibilities
the destination is believed in.... yet not completely in view
what is hope? this is hope.
many will doubt... i will not.
many will question.... i will trust.
many will sneer.... i will smile.
many may spout limitations......yet I will not.
the youth need to hear and see our hope.
they need to be heard.... its not a corny slogan.
its a reality.
the harvest is plenty... the workers are few.
much of the fruit falls to the ground if it is not tended to.
the youth need tending to.
YOU have called. I will listen.
your voice is heard... your dream is real
your light is seen.... your joy is sensed
the day is young.... there is so much to learn
when will it cease... the journey is just begun
humanity sees the negative... YOU see the possibilities
the destination is believed in.... yet not completely in view
what is hope? this is hope.
many will doubt... i will not.
many will question.... i will trust.
many will sneer.... i will smile.
many may spout limitations......yet I will not.
the youth need to hear and see our hope.
they need to be heard.... its not a corny slogan.
its a reality.
the harvest is plenty... the workers are few.
much of the fruit falls to the ground if it is not tended to.
the youth need tending to.
YOU have called. I will listen.
Monday, October 6, 2008
dirt and dust of the Earth
I have had a friend who I met the summer after sophmore year of college in Alaska during the time I was working up there, ONE crazy summer. This friend and I have had a MANY open conversations, which have included authenticity which has been incredibly fruitful. Throughout these conversations, we have shared with one another about our faith, about our views of the world, about social justice.... and the list goes on. In the last year, as I have been involved with a group of students at Fuller who meet fairly consistently to intentionally get together with those of different faiths: primarily Jewish and LDS (Latter-Day Saints), I am continuously in awe of how the diversity within what is shared within these groups does point out discrepancies between theological frameworks and conceptions of God. Yet, in the midst of these discrepancies, I have noticed a theme of a striving and desire for other humans to share within the experiences which we have to share with the humans around us. I think that this experience and sharing of emotion, joy, sorrow, intellectual thought, and mindlessness all is shared. And a part of me also wonders if in this sharing, THIS is a communion with God, as well as a part of an opportunity for humanity to experience sources of physical comfort which God bestows through man.
After reading an AWESOME book which is called How Wide the Divide: A Mormon and an Evangelical in Conversation by Craig Blomberg, I have been praying and pondering over the importance that conversation, especially the combination of conversations over the span of years is one of the most powerful forms of expression which we have within friendships and within an experience of God. Soo.... my friend, Denton, jumped on board with the idea... and strangely enough, had said that he had thought about this idea a while back, and then changed his mind. He wanted to write a book with me. So....we are going to. Well... sort of. We are going to start a chain of emails... and just for fun I wanted to include our first one here.
That is soo funny too that you had thought about that before! Wow!!!! Well i guess now is the opportunity! I LOVE the idea of writing a book! serious!!! I guess we could do an email chain and then eventually put it into book form (or compile it together)....it has been something that I have been thinking about for a while now too... so this rocks!
So, first topic......I guess I will just pick one. It has been something I have been thinking about ALOT recently. The topic of the Creation of the Earth has been something I have been stirring around quite a bit recently. I have been paying a lot of attention to the news and hearing about this new machine which they are terming the "God machine". There are millions of dollars which are being spent on finding the "ulitmate source" or materials which serve as evidence of the time when the earth came together. These scientists are in search for the form of which the particles or atoms combined, and through their combination ended up forming the first signs of the Earth. In many sources of theology that I have been exposed to, I have heard of the notion of Creation ex nihilo, which stands for "Creation out of nothing" and often times this theory resolves and posits an assumption which many evangelicals will say that the Earth came about out of this nothingness. I have been wondering if this idea of it coming out of nothing is 1) based upon evangelicals forming a doctrine which is not based upon more substantial data, such as the Word, and also 2) if not belieivng in this doctrine takes away from bringing glory to God. I look at Genesis 1:1-2 and it says, "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth. Now the Earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters." This is not the Greek translation, yet I wonder if God does not have just as much of possibility in creating the heavens and the Earth by bringing certain particles together, certain atoms together, which He!! created. I think all too often this creation ex nihilo theory ends up limiting the conception that is made of God, in that He only can create the world in a way if God does it like a magician, out of nothing , like abra cadabra, rather than forming a complex and intricate amount of atoms in a way where the way in which they come together form a miraculous encounter of particles which is such that creates the Earth at its origins. I think that this is a Creator which combines the power which God holds to form these atoms in God's own sight, and to bring about a creation which stands as a physical representation of the image of God. This is the same God who created a Son, named Jesus, who ended up bearing the brunt for humanity in our own weakness.
What do you think friend, about any of this? Have you thought about the conception of Creation?
After reading an AWESOME book which is called How Wide the Divide: A Mormon and an Evangelical in Conversation by Craig Blomberg, I have been praying and pondering over the importance that conversation, especially the combination of conversations over the span of years is one of the most powerful forms of expression which we have within friendships and within an experience of God. Soo.... my friend, Denton, jumped on board with the idea... and strangely enough, had said that he had thought about this idea a while back, and then changed his mind. He wanted to write a book with me. So....we are going to. Well... sort of. We are going to start a chain of emails... and just for fun I wanted to include our first one here.
That is soo funny too that you had thought about that before! Wow!!!! Well i guess now is the opportunity! I LOVE the idea of writing a book! serious!!! I guess we could do an email chain and then eventually put it into book form (or compile it together)....it has been something that I have been thinking about for a while now too... so this rocks!
So, first topic......I guess I will just pick one. It has been something I have been thinking about ALOT recently. The topic of the Creation of the Earth has been something I have been stirring around quite a bit recently. I have been paying a lot of attention to the news and hearing about this new machine which they are terming the "God machine". There are millions of dollars which are being spent on finding the "ulitmate source" or materials which serve as evidence of the time when the earth came together. These scientists are in search for the form of which the particles or atoms combined, and through their combination ended up forming the first signs of the Earth. In many sources of theology that I have been exposed to, I have heard of the notion of Creation ex nihilo, which stands for "Creation out of nothing" and often times this theory resolves and posits an assumption which many evangelicals will say that the Earth came about out of this nothingness. I have been wondering if this idea of it coming out of nothing is 1) based upon evangelicals forming a doctrine which is not based upon more substantial data, such as the Word, and also 2) if not belieivng in this doctrine takes away from bringing glory to God. I look at Genesis 1:1-2 and it says, "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth. Now the Earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters." This is not the Greek translation, yet I wonder if God does not have just as much of possibility in creating the heavens and the Earth by bringing certain particles together, certain atoms together, which He!! created. I think all too often this creation ex nihilo theory ends up limiting the conception that is made of God, in that He only can create the world in a way if God does it like a magician, out of nothing , like abra cadabra, rather than forming a complex and intricate amount of atoms in a way where the way in which they come together form a miraculous encounter of particles which is such that creates the Earth at its origins. I think that this is a Creator which combines the power which God holds to form these atoms in God's own sight, and to bring about a creation which stands as a physical representation of the image of God. This is the same God who created a Son, named Jesus, who ended up bearing the brunt for humanity in our own weakness.
What do you think friend, about any of this? Have you thought about the conception of Creation?
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
droplets of trust
As the journey of moving to California started over a year ago now, I had a moment to make some connections tonight about events which have occurred that are NOT by coincidence. I don't believe in coincidence.
One of the primary sources of reasons that I was drawn to enter into the MFT program at Fuller was due to my mentor who is a marriage and family therapist in Seattle. My mentor had spent a good deal of my senior year of college being alongside me, listening to the tiniest details, praying for me, and encouraging a pursuit of a degree in therapy. One of the pieces of advice which she gave me before I left was recommending that I connect with a counseling center which is located in my city. I listened to her advice, but in the process of applying to many sites, and discerning which would be an option which would be the most suited, I ended up in a different clinic. Opportunity missed? Not possible in the narrative which I believe God is amongst.
I had begun at my site, working with the clients who I sit with. Often times I am in silence because I wonder and feel like I am in a phase of learning how to be a therapist who soaks in a lot of the dynamics of families of which these people are in, as well as their descriptions of pain and issues which I have never encountered, which makes me marvel at their resilence and strength.
In the midst of this, (and it has only been a couple months) I felt unsettled and anxious about the fact that I am not as passionate about working with adults as I had anticipated. Recently, the opportunity to work in Pasadena Unified SD, with teenage girls came up within a supervision session I was in. I voiced an interest, as well as the fact that I had some experience from college working with teens. Honestly, I think there is SOO much potential and opportunity for finding a sense of independence, identity and worth in the teenage years which may not be as fruitful later on within life.... and I could go on!!! So, after expressing this interest.... there were a lot of details which have been occurring backstage including the fact that this organization, who has worked with teenagers in Pasadena for over 15 years, really wanted to connect with my clinic. AND, this is the thrilling part, they wanted interns!
So, yesterday, after an interview with the executive director, including a great deal of work which they have done in order to make sure that I will be allowed to recieve my california required hours, I am honored to be placed as a therapist in the Pasadena High Schools counseling these young women who seek models of what it means to live as a woman in a society who has many conflicting messages.
The thing which I learned, and one of the awesome connections which I made was that the VERY same clinic which my mentor had told me over and over to get connected with, is the same clinic that STARTED this program over 15 years ago in the city. The founder was a fellow intern of my Mentor. insane. So.... from this, for me, this is a demonstration of how a droplet of trust, which began as I started at a clinic which I was unsure about.... led to something that I am looking forward to seeing how I will be able to serve a group of teens who will share their lives with me, who I get to live among as well. I think these droplets of trust, trust in seeking out the God who is the God of compassion and of sustenance, continue to be something that is calling me out of a place of remaining stagnant, to a place of growth and also unknown.
One of the primary sources of reasons that I was drawn to enter into the MFT program at Fuller was due to my mentor who is a marriage and family therapist in Seattle. My mentor had spent a good deal of my senior year of college being alongside me, listening to the tiniest details, praying for me, and encouraging a pursuit of a degree in therapy. One of the pieces of advice which she gave me before I left was recommending that I connect with a counseling center which is located in my city. I listened to her advice, but in the process of applying to many sites, and discerning which would be an option which would be the most suited, I ended up in a different clinic. Opportunity missed? Not possible in the narrative which I believe God is amongst.
I had begun at my site, working with the clients who I sit with. Often times I am in silence because I wonder and feel like I am in a phase of learning how to be a therapist who soaks in a lot of the dynamics of families of which these people are in, as well as their descriptions of pain and issues which I have never encountered, which makes me marvel at their resilence and strength.
In the midst of this, (and it has only been a couple months) I felt unsettled and anxious about the fact that I am not as passionate about working with adults as I had anticipated. Recently, the opportunity to work in Pasadena Unified SD, with teenage girls came up within a supervision session I was in. I voiced an interest, as well as the fact that I had some experience from college working with teens. Honestly, I think there is SOO much potential and opportunity for finding a sense of independence, identity and worth in the teenage years which may not be as fruitful later on within life.... and I could go on!!! So, after expressing this interest.... there were a lot of details which have been occurring backstage including the fact that this organization, who has worked with teenagers in Pasadena for over 15 years, really wanted to connect with my clinic. AND, this is the thrilling part, they wanted interns!
So, yesterday, after an interview with the executive director, including a great deal of work which they have done in order to make sure that I will be allowed to recieve my california required hours, I am honored to be placed as a therapist in the Pasadena High Schools counseling these young women who seek models of what it means to live as a woman in a society who has many conflicting messages.
The thing which I learned, and one of the awesome connections which I made was that the VERY same clinic which my mentor had told me over and over to get connected with, is the same clinic that STARTED this program over 15 years ago in the city. The founder was a fellow intern of my Mentor. insane. So.... from this, for me, this is a demonstration of how a droplet of trust, which began as I started at a clinic which I was unsure about.... led to something that I am looking forward to seeing how I will be able to serve a group of teens who will share their lives with me, who I get to live among as well. I think these droplets of trust, trust in seeking out the God who is the God of compassion and of sustenance, continue to be something that is calling me out of a place of remaining stagnant, to a place of growth and also unknown.
Zimbabwe
I came across this article today.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/02/world/africa/02zimbabwe.html?pagewanted=2&_r=1&hp
Zimbabwe is one of the countless countries which as I look at how thousands upon thousands of individuals live, I am speechless. It seems that an economy of any country should never have to come to the place where even the more menial jobs are no longer being filled because it costs too much for individuals to take the bus to work. The MASSIVE rise in inflation, over 12,000 percent in the last couple of years, leaves families and individuals helpless. Not only is there not enough money to sustain banks, education is no longer necessary, as people are trying to find how to get from day to day with enough to eat and survive. The inequality is quite prominent is the description of the residence mansion where Mr. Mugabe resides. It is hard for me to comprehend how the discrepancy which exists between the lives of two individuals can be so polarized. And all because of the Zimbabwean dollar.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/02/world/africa/02zimbabwe.html?pagewanted=2&_r=1&hp
Zimbabwe is one of the countless countries which as I look at how thousands upon thousands of individuals live, I am speechless. It seems that an economy of any country should never have to come to the place where even the more menial jobs are no longer being filled because it costs too much for individuals to take the bus to work. The MASSIVE rise in inflation, over 12,000 percent in the last couple of years, leaves families and individuals helpless. Not only is there not enough money to sustain banks, education is no longer necessary, as people are trying to find how to get from day to day with enough to eat and survive. The inequality is quite prominent is the description of the residence mansion where Mr. Mugabe resides. It is hard for me to comprehend how the discrepancy which exists between the lives of two individuals can be so polarized. And all because of the Zimbabwean dollar.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
the church through the years
Today I was thinking about the church. I am myself a member of the church, and continue to think about this often. Many times this includes thoughts of frustration, thoughts of judgment and thoughts of wondering if I do want to claim to be a member of an organization which often times, to be frank, I wonder if I agree with the decisions which are being made, morally and biblically. Especially being in seminary, I am CONSTANTly aware of the church and the things which are harmful to humanity's perspective of God through the physical display of churches. I think that part of the constant struggle which I have with the church , when I boil it down, comes down to my OWN pride, my own internal battles and my own insecurities in facing things that God is desiring to teach me. There are so many sources of hearing God's voice on a daily basis, which from what I have experienced is a combination of listening to friends and hearing their thoughts, filtering those out, pondering over them, and then dicing it out with God through prayer throughout the process.
As I have been thinking about the church, this is a thought which has been occurring to me repeatedly. In my frustration with the OTHER people who I go to church with, it is actually MY problem. I think it has been easier for me to categorize my thoughts as frustration with THE church in general, but when I do this, I start picturing the faces of individuals who are part of the church of which I am a member. These are individuals who have called me when I have been ill, who have given me rides when my car broke down, who have invited me over to their home countless Sundays for lunch, (this for a broke graduate student is the TRUEST form of grace to be displayed). I realized tonight that there are always going to be issues which arise within anytime a group of humans (who have faults and sin) gather together in any type of organization and try to come to somewhat of a mutual understanding of how to form a community. I will continue to have issues within whatever church I am a part of, but the thing that became ubber clear to me tonight is that THE Church, the one that I actually care about the most, is that I am a follower of Jesus Christ, who is the ultimate church and ultimate community of which the community of followers stretches throughout the world and spans across all languages and races.
This church is one which does not discriminate based upon age, denomination, ethnicity, number of years that an individual has experienced grace, etc.
This realization of how much broader the church was a good reminder tonight. The story which actually made this central to my thoughts today was that I was blessed with the chance to meet with my friend Katie tonight and have some bomb Mexican food in the quaint town of Chino Hills. Katie and I met in 5th grade in Woodinville. This faithful woman was one of the pivotal sources of why I am now attending seminary at the age of 23 years old. Her perseverance to invite me to youth group, to show me a different kind of friendship than one I had EVER known before, as she was the person who LIVED out the grace of Jesus Christ to me early on. Her pursuit of friendship with me IS one of the ways that God spoke to me and called me to a place where I realized I would not ever be able to do anything on my own. My nice actions and thoughts were dandy, but let's be honest, I found out I couldn't run on those devices for very long. It makes me feel like a hamster on a spinning wheel. Katie and my life took different paths, as she moved away to California, and I continued to live in Woodinville. There were periods within this shift where I questioned and fought with God about why a friend this amazing would be taken away. God's answers seem to come way later than I always like. ;)
Tonight, 12 years later, we are now living like an hour away from one another. I have been really lucky to be able to hang out with her every once in a while. We spent the night talking, and much of our conversation is something that I felt was cool to share. Through a lot of our conversation we talked about our own struggles with being a part of the church, with churches we have been a part of in the past, and shared honestly with our own assumptions and how preferences interact with what places we end up staying at, where we end up leaving.
Somewhat near the end of the conversation we both agreed on one point. Sitting at a Mexican restaurant in sunny Ca, we had first been a part of church in 5th grade for a little while. Yet, tonight we were the physical display of THE church, the followers of Christ, who regardless of what denomination we affiliate with, without needing to sit in any building, WE were two girls, sitting and chatting, being the church. All this to be said, I think that often times believers will first ask what church another believer goes to, yet my question tonight is: does it truly matter? Why spend the time talking about what church you go to, why not talk about what you have seen God do today, what things you are struggling with today, and what people (including yourself) that you can ask that person to pray for, and what community across the world you can spend time praying for?
As I have been thinking about the church, this is a thought which has been occurring to me repeatedly. In my frustration with the OTHER people who I go to church with, it is actually MY problem. I think it has been easier for me to categorize my thoughts as frustration with THE church in general, but when I do this, I start picturing the faces of individuals who are part of the church of which I am a member. These are individuals who have called me when I have been ill, who have given me rides when my car broke down, who have invited me over to their home countless Sundays for lunch, (this for a broke graduate student is the TRUEST form of grace to be displayed). I realized tonight that there are always going to be issues which arise within anytime a group of humans (who have faults and sin) gather together in any type of organization and try to come to somewhat of a mutual understanding of how to form a community. I will continue to have issues within whatever church I am a part of, but the thing that became ubber clear to me tonight is that THE Church, the one that I actually care about the most, is that I am a follower of Jesus Christ, who is the ultimate church and ultimate community of which the community of followers stretches throughout the world and spans across all languages and races.
This church is one which does not discriminate based upon age, denomination, ethnicity, number of years that an individual has experienced grace, etc.
This realization of how much broader the church was a good reminder tonight. The story which actually made this central to my thoughts today was that I was blessed with the chance to meet with my friend Katie tonight and have some bomb Mexican food in the quaint town of Chino Hills. Katie and I met in 5th grade in Woodinville. This faithful woman was one of the pivotal sources of why I am now attending seminary at the age of 23 years old. Her perseverance to invite me to youth group, to show me a different kind of friendship than one I had EVER known before, as she was the person who LIVED out the grace of Jesus Christ to me early on. Her pursuit of friendship with me IS one of the ways that God spoke to me and called me to a place where I realized I would not ever be able to do anything on my own. My nice actions and thoughts were dandy, but let's be honest, I found out I couldn't run on those devices for very long. It makes me feel like a hamster on a spinning wheel. Katie and my life took different paths, as she moved away to California, and I continued to live in Woodinville. There were periods within this shift where I questioned and fought with God about why a friend this amazing would be taken away. God's answers seem to come way later than I always like. ;)
Tonight, 12 years later, we are now living like an hour away from one another. I have been really lucky to be able to hang out with her every once in a while. We spent the night talking, and much of our conversation is something that I felt was cool to share. Through a lot of our conversation we talked about our own struggles with being a part of the church, with churches we have been a part of in the past, and shared honestly with our own assumptions and how preferences interact with what places we end up staying at, where we end up leaving.
Somewhat near the end of the conversation we both agreed on one point. Sitting at a Mexican restaurant in sunny Ca, we had first been a part of church in 5th grade for a little while. Yet, tonight we were the physical display of THE church, the followers of Christ, who regardless of what denomination we affiliate with, without needing to sit in any building, WE were two girls, sitting and chatting, being the church. All this to be said, I think that often times believers will first ask what church another believer goes to, yet my question tonight is: does it truly matter? Why spend the time talking about what church you go to, why not talk about what you have seen God do today, what things you are struggling with today, and what people (including yourself) that you can ask that person to pray for, and what community across the world you can spend time praying for?
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
the adventures of blogging
Hi friends,
The start to this blog has been building... and finally it has arrived! After much thought.... of realizing how much writing needs to be a part of my life, in the sense that it not only benefits me, but my hope is that some words mean something to you, the people i love the most as well. Plus, I am just so gosh darn busy that it is nice to share bits and pieces with you, besides getting to hear all y'alls voices on the phone. ;)
Today I wanted to start with something that I have been mulling over quite a bit in my head. I went to a coffee shop this afternoon after work to do some reading, and on my way over there, I rode down my local street, (which is not one which my roommate would be thrilled to know that I am riding alone down. ;) As I rode past complexes of apartments, there were many individuals sitting alongside the road. I had an awakening today about how in the midst of where I live, just blocks from me, there is immense poverty. There are a number of individuals who I pass by daily on this street, and often times try to look past their faces, because I tend to see how much behind their faces, there is a story. There are so many of these individuals, all who I tend to lack an understanding of their story, what contributed to them ending up in Pasadena. Do they have family members that are alive, is there someone looking for them today?
So, this all exists. Then... there is the the contrast which remains very prominent for me. I had just gotten off from work, where orientation was occurring. There was a pletheora of resources and food, even TOO much food, when only blocks away, there are individuals who are incredibly thankful for anything that is recieved, because they don't know where this next resource will be offered. This is where the contrast and gap between having access to resources, and lacking access to these resources stands out like a blinding light to me. I think that I am continuously grateful for the opportunity that i have been given to study at seminary, yet a part of me wonders and struggles with the fact that as I sit in a classroom, filling my head with knowledge about the resurrection, there may be a woman that I could be speaking with on the street. Although the complexity of this is immense, as the limitation which becomes present is the fact that I, in my tiny tiny tiny context can't see the grander narrative which exists. I think the narrative which is currently going on within the world, within the kingdom which God created is soo much more vast than is comprehensible. Yet, even still, the question is there. I don't know if I would be able to understand or contain the answer to this question... and this may be part of the reason why I, and we, as humans, are not offered an answer to this.
As I continued to ride to the coffeshop, the second part of my experience was INCREDIBLUOUS! I sat down next to 2 individuals who were having a conversation, and slightly eavesdropping, it didn't take long for me to catch on to the fact that these men were in fact 2 men who were a sponsor and a sponsee in a personal AA meeting at the local coffee shop. From the brief bit which I overheard, there was an incredible amount of honesty and openness which was shared within their conversation. These two men, sat facing one another, sipping their coffees, sharing things with one another, that I don't know if I would tell my bestest bestest friend. I thought to myself, how often does my honesty with my friends and others around me reflect this amount of willingness to be open to an amount of feedback where the "Stuff" of my life is present, displayed and in plain sight for someone to respond to, and for me to be willing to truly take this feedback, filter it, and discern through it, and then THIS is the hardest part, Make CHANGE.
change kind of reminds me of the smell which happens when you like seriously need to take out the garbage cuz you made broccoli and the WHOLE kitchen smells like broccoli. ;)
I don't like change, because once I get comfortable I want to stay comfortable. Yet, I realized today that comfort is something that really, I am able to see because of the resources I for some reason have. This definition of comfort has been established for me because of what I do have. So, all of this to be said, I think that the amount of dedication which I saw these men display to eachother was unheard of. THIS is what life if I am living to look like. It needs to look like these men who were sitting with one another, sharing back and forth with one another, what has worked for each one of them, and what has not worked.
These two stories are merely a reflection of a piece of what was occurring on a local street in Pasadena this afternoon. Community being formed, community needing to be established, and a lack of connection occurring, with a strong bond of connection holding up 2 men together.
These stories are ones that I desire to be telling, because I think those who often are in the most challenging places of their lives often speak the most to us who start to feel comfortable. And this reminds me of a man who seemed to be uncomfortable ALOT. Jesus.
I hope that this post is a start to a blog which brings laughter, light, tears and please, and YOU to the page. If you would please write comments, that would rock.... that would be awesome the more community that comes from anything like this!
Love to all, Sandra
The start to this blog has been building... and finally it has arrived! After much thought.... of realizing how much writing needs to be a part of my life, in the sense that it not only benefits me, but my hope is that some words mean something to you, the people i love the most as well. Plus, I am just so gosh darn busy that it is nice to share bits and pieces with you, besides getting to hear all y'alls voices on the phone. ;)
Today I wanted to start with something that I have been mulling over quite a bit in my head. I went to a coffee shop this afternoon after work to do some reading, and on my way over there, I rode down my local street, (which is not one which my roommate would be thrilled to know that I am riding alone down. ;) As I rode past complexes of apartments, there were many individuals sitting alongside the road. I had an awakening today about how in the midst of where I live, just blocks from me, there is immense poverty. There are a number of individuals who I pass by daily on this street, and often times try to look past their faces, because I tend to see how much behind their faces, there is a story. There are so many of these individuals, all who I tend to lack an understanding of their story, what contributed to them ending up in Pasadena. Do they have family members that are alive, is there someone looking for them today?
So, this all exists. Then... there is the the contrast which remains very prominent for me. I had just gotten off from work, where orientation was occurring. There was a pletheora of resources and food, even TOO much food, when only blocks away, there are individuals who are incredibly thankful for anything that is recieved, because they don't know where this next resource will be offered. This is where the contrast and gap between having access to resources, and lacking access to these resources stands out like a blinding light to me. I think that I am continuously grateful for the opportunity that i have been given to study at seminary, yet a part of me wonders and struggles with the fact that as I sit in a classroom, filling my head with knowledge about the resurrection, there may be a woman that I could be speaking with on the street. Although the complexity of this is immense, as the limitation which becomes present is the fact that I, in my tiny tiny tiny context can't see the grander narrative which exists. I think the narrative which is currently going on within the world, within the kingdom which God created is soo much more vast than is comprehensible. Yet, even still, the question is there. I don't know if I would be able to understand or contain the answer to this question... and this may be part of the reason why I, and we, as humans, are not offered an answer to this.
As I continued to ride to the coffeshop, the second part of my experience was INCREDIBLUOUS! I sat down next to 2 individuals who were having a conversation, and slightly eavesdropping, it didn't take long for me to catch on to the fact that these men were in fact 2 men who were a sponsor and a sponsee in a personal AA meeting at the local coffee shop. From the brief bit which I overheard, there was an incredible amount of honesty and openness which was shared within their conversation. These two men, sat facing one another, sipping their coffees, sharing things with one another, that I don't know if I would tell my bestest bestest friend. I thought to myself, how often does my honesty with my friends and others around me reflect this amount of willingness to be open to an amount of feedback where the "Stuff" of my life is present, displayed and in plain sight for someone to respond to, and for me to be willing to truly take this feedback, filter it, and discern through it, and then THIS is the hardest part, Make CHANGE.
change kind of reminds me of the smell which happens when you like seriously need to take out the garbage cuz you made broccoli and the WHOLE kitchen smells like broccoli. ;)
I don't like change, because once I get comfortable I want to stay comfortable. Yet, I realized today that comfort is something that really, I am able to see because of the resources I for some reason have. This definition of comfort has been established for me because of what I do have. So, all of this to be said, I think that the amount of dedication which I saw these men display to eachother was unheard of. THIS is what life if I am living to look like. It needs to look like these men who were sitting with one another, sharing back and forth with one another, what has worked for each one of them, and what has not worked.
These two stories are merely a reflection of a piece of what was occurring on a local street in Pasadena this afternoon. Community being formed, community needing to be established, and a lack of connection occurring, with a strong bond of connection holding up 2 men together.
These stories are ones that I desire to be telling, because I think those who often are in the most challenging places of their lives often speak the most to us who start to feel comfortable. And this reminds me of a man who seemed to be uncomfortable ALOT. Jesus.
I hope that this post is a start to a blog which brings laughter, light, tears and please, and YOU to the page. If you would please write comments, that would rock.... that would be awesome the more community that comes from anything like this!
Love to all, Sandra
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