the adventures of blogging

Hi friends,
The start to this blog has been building... and finally it has arrived! After much thought.... of realizing how much writing needs to be a part of my life, in the sense that it not only benefits me, but my hope is that some words mean something to you, the people i love the most as well. Plus, I am just so gosh darn busy that it is nice to share bits and pieces with you, besides getting to hear all y'alls voices on the phone. ;)

Today I wanted to start with something that I have been mulling over quite a bit in my head. I went to a coffee shop this afternoon after work to do some reading, and on my way over there, I rode down my local street, (which is not one which my roommate would be thrilled to know that I am riding alone down. ;) As I rode past complexes of apartments, there were many individuals sitting alongside the road. I had an awakening today about how in the midst of where I live, just blocks from me, there is immense poverty. There are a number of individuals who I pass by daily on this street, and often times try to look past their faces, because I tend to see how much behind their faces, there is a story. There are so many of these individuals, all who I tend to lack an understanding of their story, what contributed to them ending up in Pasadena. Do they have family members that are alive, is there someone looking for them today?
So, this all exists. Then... there is the the contrast which remains very prominent for me. I had just gotten off from work, where orientation was occurring. There was a pletheora of resources and food, even TOO much food, when only blocks away, there are individuals who are incredibly thankful for anything that is recieved, because they don't know where this next resource will be offered. This is where the contrast and gap between having access to resources, and lacking access to these resources stands out like a blinding light to me. I think that I am continuously grateful for the opportunity that i have been given to study at seminary, yet a part of me wonders and struggles with the fact that as I sit in a classroom, filling my head with knowledge about the resurrection, there may be a woman that I could be speaking with on the street. Although the complexity of this is immense, as the limitation which becomes present is the fact that I, in my tiny tiny tiny context can't see the grander narrative which exists. I think the narrative which is currently going on within the world, within the kingdom which God created is soo much more vast than is comprehensible. Yet, even still, the question is there. I don't know if I would be able to understand or contain the answer to this question... and this may be part of the reason why I, and we, as humans, are not offered an answer to this.

As I continued to ride to the coffeshop, the second part of my experience was INCREDIBLUOUS! I sat down next to 2 individuals who were having a conversation, and slightly eavesdropping, it didn't take long for me to catch on to the fact that these men were in fact 2 men who were a sponsor and a sponsee in a personal AA meeting at the local coffee shop. From the brief bit which I overheard, there was an incredible amount of honesty and openness which was shared within their conversation. These two men, sat facing one another, sipping their coffees, sharing things with one another, that I don't know if I would tell my bestest bestest friend. I thought to myself, how often does my honesty with my friends and others around me reflect this amount of willingness to be open to an amount of feedback where the "Stuff" of my life is present, displayed and in plain sight for someone to respond to, and for me to be willing to truly take this feedback, filter it, and discern through it, and then THIS is the hardest part, Make CHANGE.
change kind of reminds me of the smell which happens when you like seriously need to take out the garbage cuz you made broccoli and the WHOLE kitchen smells like broccoli. ;)
I don't like change, because once I get comfortable I want to stay comfortable. Yet, I realized today that comfort is something that really, I am able to see because of the resources I for some reason have. This definition of comfort has been established for me because of what I do have. So, all of this to be said, I think that the amount of dedication which I saw these men display to eachother was unheard of. THIS is what life if I am living to look like. It needs to look like these men who were sitting with one another, sharing back and forth with one another, what has worked for each one of them, and what has not worked.

These two stories are merely a reflection of a piece of what was occurring on a local street in Pasadena this afternoon. Community being formed, community needing to be established, and a lack of connection occurring, with a strong bond of connection holding up 2 men together.
These stories are ones that I desire to be telling, because I think those who often are in the most challenging places of their lives often speak the most to us who start to feel comfortable. And this reminds me of a man who seemed to be uncomfortable ALOT. Jesus.

I hope that this post is a start to a blog which brings laughter, light, tears and please, and YOU to the page. If you would please write comments, that would rock.... that would be awesome the more community that comes from anything like this!

Love to all, Sandra